Watch League of Gentlemen

At the Charity Shop, Vinnie and Reenie are washing clothes and ironing bags, when a bag blows out of the window. Later, Vinnie spots it on a country road and sets off in hot pursuit. It is almost within her grasp when she has an accident and plummets down a steep bank, ending up impaled on railings. The Charity Shop has to advertise for a new volunteer. Keith, a mysterious stranger, gets the job. He helps Brian with some missing pieces of a game, giving him a ruby brooch to use. Later Brian returns; the brooch belonged to his wife Katie who has been missing for 10 months. There is a familiar throaty laugh - Keith is Papa Lazarou. He tries to strangle Brian but Reenie hits him with a copper kettle. Meanwhile, elsewhere in Royston Vasey, Kenny Harris, owner of the Dog Cinema, learns that his former friend, Dougal Siepp, is planning to open a Cat Theatre. Would-be magician Dean Tavalouris is trying out his act but having little luck with his audience, especially when Miggy and Bongo steal his camera. Papa Lazarou has escaped. He runs down the High Street and enters arrives an ordinary-looking house, closely followed by Brian and Reenie. In the front room is a small child, Simba Brown. Upstairs Brian finds photos belonging to the real Keith. There's a scream, Brian rushes down to help Reenie and is grabbed by Papa Lazarou. They are tied up and drugged. Brian wakes to find himself in a cage. Papa Lazarou calls for Katie to be brought in. She is inside a lion and Brian is to be put inside an elephant. Meanwhile Reenie is in a lone cage, inside a bear. Later, a sign in the charity advertises for volunteers. A cheerful Keith emerges and walks down the High Street as Papa Lazarou. A burly woman bumps into him; it is Charlie in his wig and he has dropped a necklace. As Keith tries to hand Charlie the necklace, the Legz Akimbo van plummets into the wall.

Inside the Greedy Slits amusement arcade, Charlie and Stella Hull are having another one of their rows. Stella makes it clear that she is still seeing Tony. Judee Levinson has given up her lady-of-leisure lifestyle to run a beauty salon, Spit & Polish. It's a great success, mainly thanks to Charlie's unexpected skill as a masseur. Charlie discovers he can get huge tips if he gives clients a little extra, but insists that they wear masks. When Tony comes in for a massage, Charlie refuses at first, and then discovers that Tony has hidden assets. He suggests a threesome to Stella. Meanwhile, Professor Breastpinch is on the High Street conducting a survey with little success, and Neds is on a case with his new customized crime-solving car, Maxie-Power. Inside a warehouse, Mandy and Repton are loading boxes of cigarettes into skips. An attempt at a citizen's arrest backfires, leaving Neds and his friend Tris tied up while a fire takes hold. Tony thinks Judee is responsible for his wonderful massages and asks her out. Judee would rather go out with Charlie, whereas Charlie now fancies Tony. Charlie joins them at Luigi's restaurant, where he declares his love and is violently rejected. They are interrupted by Judee, closely followed by Stella, who has won at the Greedy Slits and is leaving Royston Vasey. Charlie leaves Luigi's, wearing his blonde wig from the massage parlor. As he walks off down the street he is approached by a stranger who holds out the necklace he has dropped. But as he takes a step forward to receive it, there is the sound of a horn and a screech of brakes. Charlie lies among the rubble of the wall.

At the Windermere bed and breakfast guesthouse, Sunny is dressed in basque and stockings, entertaining a special party of guests - the Sex-Plorers. As their leader, Daddy, is demonstrating the dubious delights of auto-erotic asphyxiation and the Medusa, a sex aid extraordinaire Alvin Steele nips out to the garden centre, where he arranges an illicit evening of Water Colour Challenge and Rummikub with the light of his life, dreary Judith. Meanwhile, Terry and Anne try their hand at door to door conversion and competitive parents Nancy and Noel are determined that their daughter, Casey, will win the Miss Elegance Pageant at the local leisure center. They like the selection of judges, but fear another competitor, Natalie Burke and her mother. Alvin arrives back at the B&B to silence. Something has gone horribly wrong with the Medusa and everyone is dead. He phones Judith and invites her over for a candlelit supper, and sets about cleaning up the guesthouse. But hiding a lot of bodies isn't easy, and they tumble out from behind various nooks and crannies. Fortunately, Judith is tougher than she looks. She suggests they bury the corpses in the garden. They are driving away when celebrity designer Laurence Llewellyn Bowen arrives to do a garden makeover. He is just wondering why it has already been dug, when he is hit by the Legz Akimbo van, crashing through the wall.

When psychotic salesman Geoff is fired from his job, he leaves behind his life in plastic-injection moldings for the heady world of the London stand-up comedy scene, where he hopes his long-cherished dream to be Royston Vasey's leading entertainer will finally come true. His agent Don shows him round the Salmon on Knowledge, a fringe theatre pub, where the Legz Akimbo team are rehearsing their latest production: a sensitive look at the disabled. At Camden Market, Fag-Hag Tish is talking to Phil and not listening to a word he says or understanding his problems. Phil takes the opportunity to make a swift exit. Meanwhile, Geoff's debut performance is going very badly. The next day, broke and desperate for work, Geoff is delivering a brand new car to Don's wife. He pulls up outside his hotel and bumps into Mike. It's obvious to Mike that Geoff is very successful and he leaves saying it was ridiculous of him to think that Geoff would accept his old job back at double the salary. Later that night Geoff learns that the car contained a bomb and he is the prime suspect. Don is nowhere to be found, and Geoff needs to disappear too. The Legz Akimbo van is parked outside the Salmon on Knowledge, and Geoff creeps in and drives off. As he approaches Royston Vasey, he is phoning Mike to ask if he can have his job back when he sees something ahead of him, beeps his horn, turns the wheel sharply and crashes into a wall.

Joke-shop proprietor Lance King bribes hospital disc jockey Mike King to arrange an under-the-counter arm transplant for him. The result isn't quite what he expected; his new limb is female and seems to have a mind of its own. Lance wonders who the original owner was, but all Mike knows is that it came from the hospital incinerator. Barbara is in hospital as well, and passes mortician Owen Fallowfield, who is lecturing his students on the fine art of modern-day embalming. Meanwhile, Glen and Big Barry are trying to get on with their job, but are hampered by breathtaking incompetence and the constant need for food until the terrifying Lisgoe gives them a lesson in debt collection and turns the soft-hearted Barry into a brute. The Lady-Arm leads Lance to new gravestone, inscribed to Sister Bernadette McCluskey. That night, Lance has a nightmare featuring the Lady-Arm and a plan of good works. Drastic action is needed - but the Lady-Arm is strong and attempts to cut it off are met with resistance. In the struggle, the banister gives way and Lance falls, but the Lady-Arm is still gripping the doorjamb. Later, Mike King offers to drive Lance home from hospital. But before he can get into the car, Lance's armless shoulder begins to twitch. He is dragged powerfully to the road where Pauline stands, her face covered by the red plastic bag with a white van hurtling towards her. Lance knocks Pauline out of the way, and is hit by the van and fatally injured. Meanwhile, the van has careered out of control and crashed into a brick wall. As fate would have it, the van belongs to Legz Akimbo.

The series opens with a classic horror resurrection - out of the ashes of the Local Shop, two clawlike hands emerge, one of them clutching a snow-scene souvenir. It's Tubbs and Edward, who have somehow survived the conflagration. But with their home gone, there's nothing for them in Royston Vasey and they set off for London, guided by a very odd map. In HM Clitclink prison, Pauline is top dog, renting out dildos in return for pens. Granted an early release, she is staying with Mickey, while spying on him for her archenemy, Ross. Then, at a gender-bender party thrown by Barbara (the transvestite cab driver, now heavily pregnant with monster David's baby), Pauline and Mickey discover true love. Meanwhile, dying pensioner Peter insists that his next of kin rehearse his funeral in excruciating detail, and the mysterious Dr. Carlton holds a private party for some of his sickest patients. Pauline visits Ross at home to tell him that their deal is off. Of course, she will have to go back to prison, but she will not betray her love - in fact, she has sex with Ross to try to stop him investigating Mickey. Ross gives her the file, and then picks up the phone. He is going to tell Mickey what they have just done - unless Pauline can get there first. As she flies through the streets, a red plastic bag blinds her and a van is speeds her way.